Just wanted to give all my loyal readers (har har) a little update on my life. I know I have put out there the concept of online dating and its place in my life, so I wanted to give you an update. I will be continuing to blog about online dating for those of you who are interested in it, but I want to be honest with my readers as well and the fact is that I am not currently in the process of online dating. For my own personal reasons I am choosing to not reveal why (you are quite welcome to come up with your own), but I will continue to write about it. Hope you enjoy my thoughts.
Tag Archives: Online Dating
Online Dating and Me
Online dating. Depending on who you ask, it’s either the best thing to hit the internet in years or it’s the dumbest thing ever. I’m definitely a member of the first group. I think internet dating has changed the face of relationships for the better. As someone who has been dating online for years (I think since 2006, but with obvious intermittent breaks for the times I was in relationships and ultimately married), I consider myself to be quite well versed on the subject. I have been on match.com, eHarmony, JDate, Frumster and a couple of others. Like I said, I’m pretty well versed on the subject.
Personally I think online dating works for several reasons. One is that you can pre-screen for certain things. This is certainly beneficial if you are religion-conscious, for example, or if you want someone who doesn’t want children (people who have read this blog before will notice that I wrote a post about this a while ago…I have, however, changed my mind on the subject, just for the sake of information). Another benefit is that for someone who is extremely shy, “approaching” someone on the internet is a lot less stressful than trying to approach someone in real life. Yet another benefit is that for someone like me, who lives in the middle of nowhere (literally, I live in a town of 1,500 people), it is a much better way of meeting someone than chancing running across someone who meets all of the criteria that I’m looking for in a man.
Obviously there are dangers in dating online. You could be meeting someone who is a clinical sociopath or who is trying to scam you. I’ve heard that argument a lot. However, I would argue that you are just as likely to run into someone like that meeting someone in a bar or a club. Anyone with any sense would know that the basic safety rules of operating online apply to dating online as well. Also, anyone with sense would know that when it comes time to actually meet a person that you don’t do it in your own home or go to their home. One of the other advantages to dating online is that once you know the person’s full name, you can Google to them to your heart’s content and see what comes up. My parents tend to think that qualifies as stalking or weird, but I don’t know anyone in my generation who hasn’t Googled themselves, their friends, their parents and anyone else in the world just for giggles. If we have the tools, we might as well use them.
The somewhat crazy thing about online dating is how well you can get to know someone before you meet them. At least, you can if you’re like me…and text a million times a day. There’s a reason I love texting – I can do about eight or nine other things and text at the same time. So instead of talking on the phone, which takes almost a single minded focus, I prefer to text. Yeah, I know, I’m a girl who doesn’t like to talk on the phone. I also don’t like wandering around the mall and shopping for six hours at a time. Yes, I do have two X chromosomes. I’m just a different breed of girl. Anyway, if you’re like me and you talk and text a lot before you meet face to face, it’s a very different experience than meeting someone at a bar. You’re meeting someone that you feel like you already know. It’s a nice feeling, actually.
So, the answer to the question “should I date online?”, at least as far as I’m concerned: absolutely!
Stupid Question
Contrary to what your teachers told you, there are, indeed, stupid questions. I myself am guilty of saying this feel good phrase to my students, but I don’t believe it. There are stupid questions folks. Some of the stupid questions I get asked in my professional life include, “Is this graded?”, “Do we have to do this?”, “Can we have class outside?” and “I know it says 5 paragraphs, but can I write 1?”. However, the stupid question that is the focus of this particular post was not asked at work, but rather by someone I was chatting with online on a dating site. It was:
“Do you drive?”
No. I was raised in suburbia, now live in the middle of nowhere and literally work on the other side of the state…but I walk. Of course I drive you blathering numbskull. Just as a side note, I will not be wasting my time conversing with you anymore.
Heads Up! More New Things To Come!
Just wanted to give everyone a head’s up about some new things to come (like you could be any more excited about my blog than you already are)! So, what are they?
1. I am, in the course of teaching and tweeting and just general cruising around the internet, finding a lot of quotes that I like and I want to be able to share them with you as well as consolidate them into one place for me. I just love the power of a good quote!
2. Having had some time since my separation and divorce, I am re-entering the dating world with a better sense of who I am and what I want. I like to think that I’ll have some amusing commentary on dating, as well as some honest reflection to make as well. Maybe I’ll even share something that could help someone else. If nothing else, it’ll be cathartic.
I’m looking forward to writing more and I hope you guys are looking forward to
A Journey of Discovery 