Online dating. Depending on who you ask, it’s either the best thing to hit the internet in years or it’s the dumbest thing ever. I’m definitely a member of the first group. I think internet dating has changed the face of relationships for the better. As someone who has been dating online for years (I think since 2006, but with obvious intermittent breaks for the times I was in relationships and ultimately married), I consider myself to be quite well versed on the subject. I have been on match.com, eHarmony, JDate, Frumster and a couple of others. Like I said, I’m pretty well versed on the subject.
Personally I think online dating works for several reasons. One is that you can pre-screen for certain things. This is certainly beneficial if you are religion-conscious, for example, or if you want someone who doesn’t want children (people who have read this blog before will notice that I wrote a post about this a while ago…I have, however, changed my mind on the subject, just for the sake of information). Another benefit is that for someone who is extremely shy, “approaching” someone on the internet is a lot less stressful than trying to approach someone in real life. Yet another benefit is that for someone like me, who lives in the middle of nowhere (literally, I live in a town of 1,500 people), it is a much better way of meeting someone than chancing running across someone who meets all of the criteria that I’m looking for in a man.
Obviously there are dangers in dating online. You could be meeting someone who is a clinical sociopath or who is trying to scam you. I’ve heard that argument a lot. However, I would argue that you are just as likely to run into someone like that meeting someone in a bar or a club. Anyone with any sense would know that the basic safety rules of operating online apply to dating online as well. Also, anyone with sense would know that when it comes time to actually meet a person that you don’t do it in your own home or go to their home. One of the other advantages to dating online is that once you know the person’s full name, you can Google to them to your heart’s content and see what comes up. My parents tend to think that qualifies as stalking or weird, but I don’t know anyone in my generation who hasn’t Googled themselves, their friends, their parents and anyone else in the world just for giggles. If we have the tools, we might as well use them.
The somewhat crazy thing about online dating is how well you can get to know someone before you meet them. At least, you can if you’re like me…and text a million times a day. There’s a reason I love texting – I can do about eight or nine other things and text at the same time. So instead of talking on the phone, which takes almost a single minded focus, I prefer to text. Yeah, I know, I’m a girl who doesn’t like to talk on the phone. I also don’t like wandering around the mall and shopping for six hours at a time. Yes, I do have two X chromosomes. I’m just a different breed of girl. Anyway, if you’re like me and you talk and text a lot before you meet face to face, it’s a very different experience than meeting someone at a bar. You’re meeting someone that you feel like you already know. It’s a nice feeling, actually.
So, the answer to the question “should I date online?”, at least as far as I’m concerned: absolutely!
A Journey of Discovery 